I am a late bloomer.
Yes, I had kids when I was pretty young, and I’ve always been mature for my age, but I’m also a hesitant dreamer.
I take years to make decisions. I have a hard time opening up to others and it’s taken me a really long time to feel comfortable in my own skin. To be honest, that part of me is still a work in progress.
I remember in Elementary school having a teacher who would put the desks in such a way that everyone was sort of paired up with someone else and every so often she would change the pairings. Sometimes she’d ask us to tell her something about the person we’d been sitting next to for the past month or so.
The comment from my desk partner was usually the same: “Kacie reads a lot.”
Occasionally it was: “Kacie writes a lot, but she won’t let me read it.”
It was true. I was a complete Gollum (small deformed possessive creature from Lord of the Rings for non-nerds) when it came to my “precious” notebooks, and I’ve never been anywhere without a book, at the very least nearby in my car, but I haven’t written, really written just to write in a long time.
Recently, though, I’ve made progress in my fiction writing. It’s something that I thought for a while that I wasn’t going to be able to do anymore. I just couldn’t get anything to go farther than a small summary. I’m still doing it all old school though, handwritten notebooks, and I haven’t put anything in a computerized format. But hopefully soon…
The hubs made the comment today that our lives haven’t really changed much since this whole mess started. I agreed, because I’ve been saying this for a while but like most husbands he probably hasn’t heard me.
The trees and flowers are blooming and the chickens are growing. It’s been a great season to be in the woods. Of course to me it’s never not a good time to be in the woods.
Today I watched two hawks and a bald eagle fly over us (chickens are completely protected if you were wondering) and I thought about how I will never want to live with nearby neighbors ever again.
I know there have been a lot of people upset about the country being shut down but I notice a lot of people who seem to be doing better than they have in a long time. People who seem to have come to the same conclusion that the hubs and I have since moving out to the middle of nowhere.
There’s just something that comes from living in connection with the seasons and nature and away from the push and pull of the majority of society that makes you question just what exactly is a necessity and what is a luxury.
I’ve seen a lot of people with the same look in their eyes that I have when I go into public. That wild eyed confused look.
I’ve been questioning a lot of things since way before Corona The Virus.
Like why does anyone NEED a brand new car? Why does anyone NEED brand name clothes? Why do we wear makeup? Why do I HAVE to wear a bra?
I’ve seen a lot of others that have started questioning these things too. Realizing what is needed to get through life and what we’ve been told we need to get through life are almost always two different things.
It feels like our day to day existence has become less of a game of Monopoly and more an afternoon puzzle.
We’re not trying to force ourselves to fit into someone else’s picture, we’re using what we have to make our own. I’ve seen so many people expressing their creative sides, helping others, getting more in tune with nature, and connecting with family.
I’m also finally watching the original Roswell. I wanted to watch it when I was younger and it first came out but I didn’t have that channel.
Like I said, I’m a late bloomer.
(*note* I’m not blind and I do realize that there are so many suffering right now as well as others working exhaustingly hard but I can only write from my own perspective, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)
A Hermitess 