It’s the end of the fourth week of homeschool. I can say with 100% certainty that it was much harder than I thought it would be.
I’ve spent a lot of time assessing the kids and seeing what they already know, as well as what they are wanting to know. After trying to work out a curriculum for just two kids (one in seventh grade and one in fifth) and create something resembling a working school day, I know that I could never be a teacher in the public spectrum.
Of course I’m constantly reminding myself that these are not ordinary circumstances anymore.
The current state of our world is becoming more and more stressful everyday. I know that we all feel it. The kids want to see their friends but they also feel anxiety about going back to school (hence the homeschooling). I am both trying to live my life while trying to adhere to the guidelines, which are pretty simple for the most part, to keep my family safe. The hard part isn’t following the rules, the hard part is dealing with those who are angry all the time.
They’re everywhere. They’re mad because people are following the rules and they’re mad that there are rules. Then there are those who are so afraid that they look animals caught in headlights darting in and out of stores. Their anxiety radiates off them it’s so intense.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m no longer educating my children for the world that I grew up in. That school needs to serve a purpose beyond just education right now. We have to prepare our kids for a world that is changing day by day in ways that most of us were not prepared for.
A world that is scarred by greed and war. A society that is being torn between the open minded and the closed, and their refusal to accept what they cannot understand. A society in which empathy is a dying art.
Every day I ask myself, how do I teach my kids how to live in this world on their own? How can I keep them safe while making them strong enough to make change? What is the best way to teach empathy?
It’s been pretty difficult. Who the hell am I kidding? It’s been really difficult at times. Trying to get my kids to listen to me 24/7, getting them to not drift off into the comfort of home and get distracted. (Yeah it’s pretty easy for me to get just as distracted)
On top of that, I’m working on the side trying to make $$ to pay for the little things we need here and there, and truth be told it’s not working out so great. I keep reading these blogs written by women who have farms and fifteen kids and side business and they homeschool and somehow still have time to write about it. (HOW DO YOU DO THIS I AM DYING…)
I’m up before the kids, I’m in bed after them, and I’m still not figuring out how to make the ends meet up. I feel like, and this is with a month or more of preparation, that I am constantly reading curriculums and looking for ways to teach them new things that aren’t boring or going to lead to a total meltdown. I am constantly trying to schedule my life out so that I can get everything I need to get done, DONE!
I’m also reading tips on ways to deal with things like meltdowns, theirs and mine. I feel like all I do anymore is read but not things that calm me down, things that make me feel overwhelmed.
What is going to sound the most insane though is that I’m still sure this is the right way for us. This week was not as bad, and we’re getting into a routine. I didn’t have to tell the kids what to do for more than a few mornings and I didn’t have to argue with anyone…well not about school.
The kids are always telling the rest of their family about the things they’ve learned and they have actually been excited about some of our discussions. We’ve finished up a book already and I’m looking for some others to read this year.
Social media “friends” are always going back and forth on how they feel about sending their kids to school or how they feel about keeping them at home. People yelling out their opinions (typed IN ALL CAPS) about what everyone else is doing and why it’s wrong.
As for me, I don’t think anyone knows what they’re doing anymore. I know I don’t. I think it’s time we all admit we’re all just trying to get through the day, every day. Just trying to get through the rest of this damn year.
I need a vacation. How many weeks until Summer break?
A Hermitess 